Claire's Confidential Sex Advice, Tips & Help

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Sexual Problems: Sexual Health for All

Also available in the sexual problems: sexual health for all series, Sex with Breast Cancer

Sex with Pregnancy

For most couples, making love involves intercourse and, during pregnancy, this may raise questions about safety. Intercourse is only one aspect of your sexual relationship with your husband or partner. Making love involves a lot of intimate activity which may or may not include intercourse. Generally speaking there should be no problem about intercourse unless:

if you are bleeding, or spotting, at all;
you have a history of early miscarriage, in which case you may want to avoid penetrative sex until after the 14th week;
your waters have broken, as there is some risk of infection.
if you experience any pain, whatever position you attempt;

Good sex is energising, and very good exercise for your pelvic floor muscles! Making love, and intercourse, can be even more pleasurable during pregnancy. During the middle three months, many women find their sexual interest is greatly heightened, so this can be a time of increased sexual activity in a marriage or partnership. Some women find that pregnancy means a temporary loss of libido especially in the first few months if you have all-day 'morning sickness' and feel generally grotty. Some men, too, find that they can't cope with their wife or partner's changing shape, or her physical and emotional needs, or with the idea of the responsibility of a baby. If a loss of libido also indicates some kind of emotional withdrawal from your husband or partner, you may need some psycho-sexual counselling to uncover the root of it. This aspect of your relationship needs looking at now, either formally or informally, otherwise problems may escalate after the baby is born.

You may find that it takes quite a long time for your libido to return postnatally, especially if you are breastfeeding. This is perfectly normal, too - and though it may sound like a cliche, keeping the lines of communication open with your partner is the best way to ensure that your relationship doesn't suffer permanently.

To establish whether or not everything is functioning more or less ok after the birth, you will probably find that you are asked whether you have '...resumed sexual intercourse...' at your first postnatal check-up. (You will also be asked about contraception.) You can resume your sexual relationship with your husband or partner as soon as you feel like it. If you are concerned about your vaginal discharge post-delivery, this should have cleared completely after between two to three weeks.

If you require any further information on your sexual problems, do not hesistate to contact me. We can discuss your sex problems in confidence, allowing me the opportunity to provide sexual health advice and education to improve your love life and lovemaking. Go on, send me an email, you'll be glad you did!