Claire's Confidential Sex Advice, Tips & Help

Welcome to Claire's Sex Questions

Sex Questions: Dating Advice and Sex Advice

Trained councillor answering your questions on sexual health, sex tips, dating advice and sexual help - confidential

All questions are anonymous, if you require confidential advice we guarantee no details of your sex problems or any sex advice sought will be published (unless you want us to).

Send me an anonymous email, I can provide sex advice with complete confidentiality.

Example of sex questions I can help with...

I've been dating someone for about a year and a half now that doesn't have much control over his orgasm, and thus intercourse only lasts about 2 minutes on average. I've dropped subtle hints about this with him, telling him that I had almost achieved an orgasm through intercourse (which was true). It didn't really go anywhere. I want to try some new positions, and shake things up a bit, because I find myself getting a little bored with our sex life, we don't have a lot to work with because he can't really go that long. So here are my questions: Can anyone recommend a way to approach this with a man who's super sensitive when it comes to any criticism of our sex life? Are there tried and true ways to help guys with little control delay their ejaculation?

I do communicate with my girlfriend of almost 5 years and we have a great relationship, loads in common and we have a great time together. But the sex is weird. Everything was fine for the first couple of months, but after that she has gradually switched off. I have to initiate sex otherwise it doesn't happen and unless she's a bit drunk she gets quite shy about it.

She's absolutely gorgeous and turns heads wherever we go and she always wears sexy underwear and does things like going out to dinner with me without any panties, telling me about it, and then all she'll do when we get home is sleep. To give you a better idea, she thinks touching herself is disgusting, she's never masturbated and can't stand the thought of even touching her breasts during sex.

I went through all the phases, from thinking that there was something wrong with me, to trying to convince myself that it was hurting too much to go on trying and letting it go, but it's not so easy when I love her so much and I know she loves me just the same. So we've talked about it, really opened up to each other and I told her how I felt, rejected and really low. It's not like we shout or fight or anything like that so don't get me wrong, we just talk and communicate like we're supposed to. She understands and she says that she doesn't know why she doesn't feel horny and that she wishes that she could change the way she feels. And that's the sum of fairly extensive discussions that usually end up in her crying and me trying to comfort her.

We've been doing that for the past 4 years and we're right back where we started. I get the feeling that if there was no sex at all between us she'd be better off. Right now, what I think about all this is that she was into it when things were new but got bored fast. Her sex drive went out the window and now she just want to marry me and have kids and live happily ever after and have sex as many times as is necessary to reproduce.

I've had sex with my girlfriend several times, she was a virgin and the first few times, I had trouble "breaking her in" and things didn't much proceed beyond that. I don't have an abnormally large penis and she isn't abnormally small, eventually I was able to enter completely inside, but not without much pain. To answer the question of foreplay, that really isn't an issue, we generally have a nice foreplay session prior to the sex. I don't have the best stamina in the world, but I can last for a reasonable amount of time. Right now pain really isn't an issue, it diminishes after awhile for her, but she cannot be pleasured by me no matter hard I try I have tried a few positions (missionary, her on top, entry from behind while shes lying down) and she still doesn't feel anything at all. She never has an issue reaching orgasm via oral sex or through fingering, so that generally isn't an issue. I was wondering if there were any suggestions for her pleasure. Were perplexed, and I really want her to feel good. Help me!

My girlfriend and I have recently begun having sex, a first for both of us. It has been good the few tries we've done it but we're having trouble getting rhythm sometimes. Also I've never given her an orgasm. I've tried but she always shies away when she gets really built up. How long does it take a girl typically to orgasm with fingers (I know all aren't the same but just an estimate)? Also how long does it take with a vibrator because I may invest in that if it will help her orgasm? It's really important to me that she orgasms because i want her to fully enjoy. So r there any tips for helping on that front?

I know the rhythm will come with practice (no problem with that) but I was wondering if there are any preferred positions or ones that work really well? I know most sex positions so it's not a question of position names, but if you could let me know what you think works and maybe some tips for better sex in the positions.

I'm pregnant and my lovely husband won't have sex with me. We are deeply in love, very happy and delighted to be having our first baby. He seems to be frightened to penetrate me, he says it just seems "wrong". I know that he is can't help his feelings but I have never felt so aroused. It's driving me crazy!

I know I still turn him on, I can see it in his eyes and often he gets an erection just looking at me. I am very particular about personal grooming, I have continued to get my legs and pubic area waxed, and constantly saunter round the house in my underwear!

I know pregnant women can become very horny but this is ridiculous! He keeps telling me that he's dying to make love to me but the practicalities put him off, the idea of his baby being inside me. He doesn't even want me to go down on him, he just can't forget that I'm pregnant. We seem to do everything except have actual sex. He goes down on me at least once every day, he particularly enjoys me sitting on his face.

Unfortunately all our fun just makes me even hungrier for him. I've tried using my vibrator but it's just not what i want. I love him and want him and need him. He is the best lover imaginable for me, I can't imagine another 4 months of no sex. It's got to the stage where I crave him so much that I think about making love to him all the time.

He is a very attentive husband, he gives me massages, showers me everyday, feeds me, and kisses me, everything a girl could want. It makes me feel so sexy, I have never felt more beautiful....sometimes his refusal and my hormones become a heady mix and I become very tearful which is silly.

If you require any further information on your sexual problems, do not hesistate to contact me. We can discuss your sex problems in confidence, allowing me the opportunity to provide sexual health advice and education to improve your love life and lovemaking. Go on, send me an email, you'll be glad you did!